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“Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this.
Except that it ain’t so.’
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Can there be any doubt? We’ve became a nation of inventors.
Excuses, alibis, omissions, diversions, camouflaging, pretences.
It’s embedded in our culture.
Usually we’re very good at not being caught in a truth.
 Just unlucky, as they say over at the Pentagon, when “stuff
happens.”
Secret jailing, the torture of prisoners, warrantless wire-tapping,
runaway wars, and runaway hurricanes.
Some people are born excuse makers. Others are quick learners.
Either find a way, or find an excuse. Celebrities have
spokespersons, corporations their highly paid PR reps, lawyers talk
the talk, and spin-doctors are always “in.”
At the highest levels, more politicians have become proficient in
the old Potomac two-step, scoring high marks in Doublespeak, and
Self-Deception.
But I’m really here to report what may be news to some, at least it
was to me, (no, not about your auto insurance.)
There’s paid help on the Internet for people who find themselves
weak or unsure in excuse-making skills. Moral considerations
optional. This is not a recommendation. A ”bull pen” of Alibi Ikes
on the net specializes in the art. We’ve got you covered.
“Need a story for the little woman?” “Break a date?” “Avoid a boring
meeting?”
“Sidestep dreary in-laws?” Summon “Dial an Excuse” to the rescue.
Cell phones make it easy, an ideal way of carrying an escape plan
with you.
Smokescreens are plotted in advance. A “Dial” counselor calls a
client at a pre-set time and location with a tailor made story.
The Alibi Network advertises, “Customized alibis” Concoctions
lasting weeks or even months. A phony job with a fake company bogus
employee ID. A mail drop. And a toll-free phone with a clued-in
counselor on the other end. Background sound effects available, if
you like.
Stage props are common. Sham brochures, [phony receipts, forged
doctors’ excuses, backdated FedEx parcel delivery confirmations. And
gifts, easy enough. Flowers. Candy. Expensive baubles with credit
card purchases charged to a fraudulent company.
Clinical psychologists are forever trying to explain why such human
behavior has become so widespread, Yet many questions remain
unanswered, no unexpected truths discovered, In fact, relatively
little is new.
Simply put, nothing has changed much since the late 1800’s,when Mark
Twain wrote:
“None of us could live in the world with an habitual truth-teller,
Thank goodness none of us has to.”
Amen.
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Gene Farinet, an award winning veteran newsman, spent much of his long
career at NBC News as a writer and producer working with Frank McGee,
Ed Newman, John Chancellor and Tom Brokaw, covering space, politics
and special projects everywhere in the world.
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We've Got You Covered